England #6 - The Trauma of the Eye, Part II

Janice:

We've been in the gorgeous countryside of Somerset for the last few days. It was a little hairy driving out of London, but I'll let Nick tell you about that.

Nick:

OK, then. I'm going to be doing a chart of my aunt's driving.

• Stalls -- too many times to count. 
• Getting Lost -- too many times to count. 
• Getting Honked At -- five to six times - and I don't mean a goose. 
• Wrong Turns -- too many times to count. 
• Forgotten How to Start the Car -- twice 
• Leaving It Unlocked -- twice (nothing stolen).

My Aunty Janice does something we like to call The Drift Factor. She starts on the right side of the road and makes her way to the left where she bounces off the curb and hits plants and things like that. Let's just say she's not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Janice:

Let me speak in my own defense. You try to navigate out of London during rush hour, drive the extremely twisted and narrow medieval roads of rural England, navigate, remember how to drive with standard transmission (which has a very peculiar transmission in this car), drive on the left side of the road and drive from the right side of the car. All while Nick is either singing songs about selling his puppy who can read braille with his tail or who's yelling, "Drift Factor" in my ear every ten minutes.

Nick:

I do it every ten minutes because every ten minutes she hits the curb.

Janice:

Nevertheless, we're doing fine. No damage to the car yet.

Nick:

Before we continue, we forgot to tell you last week about the Ceremony of the Keys at the London Tower. In lame people terms -- oops, I mean in laymen's terms (not) -- the locking up of the Tower of London.

We had special tickets that we ordered by mail ahead of time and we arrived at the Tower gate at 9:30 pm. They let us into the castle and told us about the history of the Ceremony of the Keys. They used to only have the Chief Yeoman Warder do the ceremony. A Yeoman Warder is a Tower protector and is commonly called a Beefeater, which you know from our earlier entry. He told us that, in the early years of the ceremony, they had to get guards to protect him because, every night when he went to lock up, the people of the village would riot and try to break into the castle. So, from then on -- for the last 700 years or so -- they've had the Queen's (or King's) guards protect him as he has done the deed, or so they say.

During the Ceremony, the guards came down from the Bloody Tower and started yelling -- right in front of me, so it hurt my ears. They're yelling to "Stand at arms" and stuff like that. The Chief Yeoman Warder comes with a little lantern and the keys. The guards escort him to the two front gates and he locks up. They walk back, him being escorted, and one of the other guards pulls out his gun and yells, "Who goes there?"

They say, "The keys."

He says, "Whose keys?"

They say, "The Queen's keys."

And he's pretty much satisfied with that and I don't know why. I would go, "What's your name? What's favourite colour?" That kind of thing. They played music to end the day and told us a ghost story before we left. Which ended pretty funny, but that's not the point.

And then when we went up to the door, it was locked. How were we supposed to get out? I seem to be selected by tour guides and everyone else for special things, so obviously I was picked. Do I stick out? Do I have a big red sign on my back that says, "Pick me please?" So, the Yeoman Warder told me to go up to the gate and say a magic word and try to open it. I said, "Alacazam," and pushed and pulled but it wouldn't open. So then he said go to the little door that was set into the gate and say, "Ormish gormish." And it opened! So we got out and headed home.

This is where our story picks up back in Somerset.

Some of the things we've seen in Somerset ... One of the my favourite things so far is Stonehenge. Dah, da, dah. It's very interesting. They say that there were actually two stonehenges built here before this one. It looks very cool and they think that it could have been a calendar, or a sacrifical circle. But they're not sure. I learned a lot about it and it looks super cool.

We've also been to the Wookey Hole caves. It was very interesting inside. At some point these caves were flooded by water and we only saw nine rooms, but they've actually found 26. But they're all flooded. To go to see the 9th room from the 4th room, we had to go through a tight space. The guide sent us on our own and gave us the flashlight or torch and obviously, who did he give it to? Me! And I had to act the guide. Watch your head people. Look at that people. It was so annoying. But fun.

We learned about the legend of the cave -- a witch there. The Saxons tried to catch her, but she always ran back into the cave and they thought that's where the devil lived. Until a monk came down and turned the witch into limestone, no one went into the cave. They think they even found her bones.

After that, we went to the paper mill and I go to make paper the old fashioned way by taking water filled with paper pulp, shaking all the water from the frame and laying the paper straight. The paper then needs to dry for five days. We didn't wait for that part.

Janice:

Yesterday we visited another set of caves at Cheddar Gorge -- a beautiful, but touristy location. I even bought some smoked cheddar cheese and something called Drayton Blue. Actually it looked more green than blue, but was very tasty with quite a zing.

The countryside here is gorgeous. There are many fields and hills -- all covered with blossoming bushes and trees. There is another village every couple of kilometers, filled with old stone houses. In fact, out cottage is one of them. Nick can describe it.

Nick:

It is so weird. Our cottage has a name. I feel like we're living in someone. It's called Fairdene. It has stone floors on the first floor. I was supposed to sleep in the attic, but I don't really feel like it. It has a tiny tv. And the kitchen! The kitchen is special.

They told us there was a well in the back, but we couldn't find one in the back yard. However, Aunty Janice was making dinner in the back kitchen the first night and I heard her scream. I ran into the kitchen only to find that the whole time she was making dinner, she'd been standing on a mat that was covering a glass window in the floor -- showing a well 35-feet deep! It has a light in it that shows the water dripping into the bottom. It was freaky!

Janice:

Now, you may be wondering why we called this entry The Trauma of the Eye, Part 2.

Nick:

The reason for this is that soon after we got here, I started getting big pains in my left eye. My aunt took me to the hospital the other day to have it checked out. It turns out that I have scratched my eye. But now it's getting better. So, that's life.

The countryside here is very, very nice. Rolling hills and tumbling valleys. The magnificence of its essence captivates me. (I hope my teacher likes that too.) It also has a lot of green -- photosynthesis! (Hee, hee. Added that, too)

Janice:

Another thing we did was visit a Toy Collector Show yesterday. It was held in a local arena and was full of antique toys and railway collector kinds of things.

Nick:

Yesterday was fun. We went shopping! We saw lots of stores. My Aunty Janice bought a necklace and shoes at the Clarks store. I bought a cool dragon holding some jewells. I almost bought a blow-up chair, but there wasn't the right colour, only purple (Yuk).

That's pretty much all we've done so far. See you next time ...

Sincerely,
Nick and Janice

England #5 - The Trauma of the Eye, Part I

Janice:

This has been our last full day in London and a long one at that. Nick wants to describe it for you.

Nick:

Our day started off very interesting. I woke up at around 9:30, when the museum opened at about 10:00. That kind of sucked. We left around 10:30 am and got to the underground and went over to the London Museum. When we got off the subway, I was more interested in something else that would have been the highlight of my day if we were allowed to go. Sadly, my aunt wouldn't let me go and check out the nearby all-girls school. Also, I didn't have my binoculars. So, that was the downfall to my day! But, other than that, the museum was mostly boring. [JB - No, it wasn't!] And the other part of it was boring. So pretty much the whole thing was boring!!!

After that, we went over to the British Museum which was, surprisingly, not boring. I really wanted to say boring there, but I can't. We saw interesting things like the Bog Man. He was killed three times, I'm really not sure how. He was hit on the head with a rock that made a hole, then he was strangled, then someone cut his throat and bled him. Poor guy. They think this happened about 100 BC. He's very preserved. You can still see his hair and the manicure he had. But the really weird thing about this, is that he had eaten a cake and the scientists could tell what temperature the cake was baked at! Weird.

The part about the British Museum that really impressed us was the Courtyard. It had a beautiful glass roof and it was massive. I mean HUGE.

After that, we went over to the title of this story. The London Eye is a giant observation [Ferris] wheel that I really thought I would pass out on. We bought tickets and got on after only ten minutes of looking at it and weighing the pros and cons. This is the biggest Ferris wheel in the world. On the bright side, I could have lots of fun and see lots of things. But, on the dark side, it could break down and I could fall to a watery death in the Thames River. But, obviously, since you're reading this, you know that I didn't land in the Thames.

When we got on, the first half of the half-hour ride was me cowering and crying in the middle of our capsule because I'm afraid of heights. But then, I started to get a bit better and stand up and take pictures and get closer to the glass wall, which I didn't like much. But after I'd been taking a lot of pictures, I went over to the side and I think I've actually conquered my fear of heights. So, all in all, it was a great ride!

Right after that, we ran as fast as we could over to Westminster Abbey across the river and saw the Evening Prayer Service. When we got there -- all out of breath -- we went inside gasped because it was purely beautiful. The stained glass windows were perfect. The stone walls and sculptures were sculpted with amazing control and magnitude. [I hope my teacher's reading this because it will get me some great brownie points for the big words! She'll like that!]

The service was very nice. We sat in the choir stalls and they had cushions so you could kneel when praying. All in all, it was a very nice service in a very beautiful church.

And now, from here, you can let my faithful Auntie Janice finish off the writing.

Janice:

Actually, I don't think there's much to say. Nicholas is seldom at a loss for words!!!

Tomorrow we pick up our car and brave the wilds of Wessex (the West Country of southern England). Assuming I remember to drive on the left side.

Nick:

And she did remember her driver's license, people. Don't worry.

Janice:

At least, I won't be watching the trees for koala bears this time, as I did in Australia!

That's all for now. We're not sure how soon we'll get to another computer, but will be on the lookout for one.

Sincerely,
Nick and Janice

PS. If you read this message we are already gone this may be our last note if so don't get help remember it happened in peace. good bye for now and mabey forever (or not at least hopefully not)

PSS. NA I'M JUST MESSIN WITH YA FUNNY JOKE EH HEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHOHOHOHO

England #4 - An Interview with Nick the World Traveller

Janice:

So, how's your trip so far?

Nick:

It's fun and interesting. It's very cool. I like the castles and the bridges. Very neat.

Janice:

We've seen a lot of different sights so far. Which was your favourite?

Nick:

That's pretty easy, actually. My favourite would be the Tower of London.

Janice:

Why?

Nick:

I like it because of all the interesting stuff that's gone on through the years there ... all the things that have been kept there like jewels and stuff like that ... all the people who have lived there like kings and queens ... all the people who have died there and, mostly all the cool stories and ramblings our guide said. Plus curses -- like the raven curse.

Janice:

What have you enjoyed the least?

Nick:

To me, I would say the thing I disliked the most was the National Portrait Gallery. That was hard. All it had was stupid pictures. It was boring. Nothing to do but walk around. Boring!

Janice:

So what do you find different about London.

Nick:

Everyone is really nice. There are a lot more sights. There are two levels to buses. Everywhere we go there seems to be a lot of stairs ... they seem to like things high. And everything seems to be red. And there are a lot of policemen and guards.

Janice:

Today we visited the British Library, the National Portrait Gallery and saw the Changing of the Guard. Did you enjoy any of these?

Nick:

One. The Changing of the Guard. The other two were special in an unspecial way, if you know what I mean. At the Changing of the Guard there were a whole lot of guys walking back and forth and riding horses back from Buckingham Palace to some other place and making a lot of noise. It was great for tourism though. The British Library and the National Portrait Gallery can be explained in one simple word ... BORING!

Janice:

Ha! I enjoyed them both immensely! Tomorrow we're going to visit some more museums and ride the London Eye Ferris Wheel.

Nick:

My turn to ask questions. What do you like the most about the city?

Janice:

I think I enjoy two things the most: the friendly people and the huge sense of history that everyone lives with here.

Nick:

What do you like the least?

Janice:

There is a lot of traffic and Nicholas is sometimes very annoying. (Ha! Ha!) But other times -- most of the time -- he's huge fun to be with!

Well, we'd better go for now ... One more day of London sightseeing and then we head for the countryside.

England #3 - Sightseeing

Janice:

We still haven't seen any rain! It was very overcast today and, at times, cool, but we had a fabulous day sightseeing. Nick will describe what we saw ...

Nick:

Well, last night we went grocery shopping and got a few things to keep us satisfied. We woke up at about 7:30-ish today and I sort of lay in bed and watched tv while my aunt got pruned up.

The first thing we did this morning was go to the Tower of London. I really wanted to see the Bloody Tower, just because it's bloody, but that's not the point of the story.

We started off by getting there just in time to get a tour. The guide wears a uniform for the Queen and I think his best name would be Beefeater. Because that's what they're all called, so really that's their name. He started off by telling us about the castle, about its history, who owned it and who made it. Then he got into the good stuff about all the prisoners and all the torture and all the head chopping off and how they put the heads on pikes and then put them over the Thames River for all to see and let the ravens peck their eyes for a mid-noon snack.

It was very interesting to hear about all the people who got their heads chopped off. I think the best part was probably learning about the two young princes who were smothered to death and later they found their bones under the stairs of the castle. A cool story about the White Tower is that they say that when all the ravens leave, the White Tower will crumble and the Tower of London will fall. But, in this case, they kind of cheated and clipped the last six ravens' wings. So now every little while you can look on the grass and see a fat raven hopping along.

We got to see where they buried about 1,500 bodies -- one with its head still attached. Out of them all, they only identified 33 when they dug them up.

One of the amazing things I saw at the Tower of London were the Crown Jewels. Practically every other step you'd see something engraved in gold or something gold or with jewels and mink. We saw many swords and shields and things like that. Then we had a bit of fun at the gift shop! I learned that when you were a prisoner here you could pay to be treated nicely, almost like a king. But they were prisoners -- I don't get it! Weird.

After that, we had a small lunch, then went up to the Tower Bridge and got a small tour. We saw how the first one they had there was destroyed and how they got the idea of making a second one. Also, how who came up with it and how it works. A cool part of that was going into the engine room and looking at all the hydraulic pumps and engines. There wasn't too much to see, but it was very interesting.

Now, one of my favourite things of the day that we did was go on a warship!!!

It was so cool! We had a can of hot chocolate and then were off to the HMS Belfast. The first thing I did was go in and check out the turrets. It was brilliant! The inside of the turrets was cool because we got to see how the aiming and firing was done. Then we went a bit higher until we were at the very front of the boat which was very cool. After that we went to top of the ship where they drive it and control the guns. Right after that we went down under deck and had some fun looking at the infirmary and stuff like that. We learned about its history and got a little lost. I learned my Auntie Janice has bad knees. She couldn't go down the ladders much. I would go down and she followed slowly after. There were about eight levels to the ship, but I still think the coolest were the turrets and the guns.

After that, we went to the front of the ship and watched the Tower Bridge rise for a cool old-fashioned galleon go through. Brilliant.

Janice:

Nick can certainly give you a play-by-play! Not much gets past him. We sure had a full day and we're having loads of fun! After the HMS Belfast, we walked a few blocks to visit the Britain at War Experience. This museum explains what it was like in London during the Blitz. It would be very interesting to visit when it wasn't full of school kids as it was today!

We've now had a few hours rest, watching British TV and enjoying our leftover Bangers and Mash from last night and we're about to head out BACK to the Tower of London for the Ceremony of the Keys. We wrote to the Tower several months ago for special passes that will allow us to accompany the guards while they lock the Tower as they've done every night for hundreds of years.

Tomorrow will be another full day with museums and the Changing of the Guard.

Stay tuned.

PS:  aunty janice is the one sleeping on the job not me shes taking 2 hour naps and i hope her knees don't give out.

England #2 - Getting There

Well, travelling is hard work. And the best laid planes -- oops -- I mean plans sometimes go awry.

Our Saturday evening flight was to leave Toronto at 10 PM. Wrong! We didn't leave Toronto until 1 PM on Sunday. In fact, the airline -- which shall remain nameless to protect the guilty -- had to put us up in a hotel for the night. Something about a mechanical problem with the plane.

Nick was not happy. His opinion was that the entire trip was ruined.

However, after spending two days in the same clothes (yuk!), we finally arrived at Gatwick airport outside London at 1 am Monday morning.

Nick:

Luckily, we caught the last train from the airport to London. We caught it by two minutes. Actually it wasn't luck at all ... we were praying!

We got to our apartment fairly quickly and we greeted by a very nice caretaker. We walked about four blocks with him to our building and then had to carry our luggage up two flights of stairs, me dangling behind the pack. We finally got up to a very nice studio apartment. The bathroom is fairly good. It has tunnel-like doors -- very small. There are two pull-out beds (one from the couch and one from the cupboard). Before bed, we had some homely soup that put us right off to sleep for about five hours.

I woke up at about 9:30, sleeping through my aunt's hair dryer, alarm clock and walking around the apartment! Did I mention I was a heavy sleeper?  [He also snores! JB]
We started with breakfast at Starbucks, having a muffin and yoghurt. I had a hot chocolate and Auntie Janice had a coffee.

We went closer downtown looking for the double-decker bus tour, snapping pictures here and there, when we saw the Royal Mews. We thought we could get a little sightseeing in before we went on the bus tour.

The Royal Mews is where the Queen keeps her horses and carriages. Henry VIII kept his hunting falcons there hundreds of years ago. The Mews is beside Buckingham Palace. 

When we started, we got there just in time to catch a bit of a tour. They told us the history of the place, then we got see some royal horses, then the royal horses that actually pull the Queen's carriage. We saw the suits of gold that the men that drive the horses and stuff like that wear. Then we saw the horses' harnesses that were all engraved with gold. And then, at the end, -- fancy, schmancy -- we saw the Queen's State Coach. It was AMAZING!!! It is the biggest carriage I will ever see in my life. Every bit of it was engraved with gold and sculptured to the perfect touch.

Then we saw other coaches that, through the years, the royal family has used and has been given by Australia, Scotland and Ireland. A lot of them were very beautiful, but the best was the one from Australia, because it had air conditioning, power windows, power doors and about every other power you can think of. Nice!

After that we got to go to a gift shop where I got a cool little toy soldier. Then we left.

We spent the rest of the day on the top of a double decker bus seeing the sights. We saw many things (from the outside) -- Big Ben, Trafalgar Square, the London Eye, the Parliament Buildings, the Tower Bridge, the Tower of London, the Aquarium, Westminster Abbey and many other places -- some of which we hope to visit later to see the insides.

The weather turned gorgeous; so far we haven't seen a drop of rain. After several hours on the bus, we decided to leave and take a boat cruise on the Thames back to where we could pick up the right subway home. While we waited for the boat, Nick fell asleep. I think we're a tad jet lagged!

Nick:

Scratch out what she said about me falling asleep. It doesn't matter. Anyone who reads this and let's this out -- my wrath will fall. [He was so cute! JB]

We grabbed a subway back to our area. Then, for dinner, had some bangers and mash! In Canadian English this means sausage and mashed potatoes with peas. Yum!! We had some ice cream and then came to type this. Soon we're going to get groceries and tomorrow -- more travelling. And hopefully, another travelogue entry!

So, bye for now. Sincerely, Nick and Auntie Janice

PS: This place is like Disneyland so much to do but so little time.

PSS: I wasn't cute and i wasn't sleeping I was aahhh resting my eyes ya resting my eyes that's right --whistle, whistle ..